CURSES! Book Launch

If you are in the Denver, CO area, drop in for the CURSES! A F***ED UP FAIRY TALE Book Launch Party at the Mercury Cafe (2199 California Street, Denver CO) tonight at 7pm.

Wear a tiara or your finest princely ware, eat some free snacks, drink some beers, and watch live entertainment as the finalist of the Incite Denver Contest embarrass themselves on stage for a chance to meet a NY agent.

Free giveaways and swag for all, plus I'm going to let you all EAT CAKE!!!!

February 29, 2012
Mercury Cafe, 7PM

New Never City Tell-All

Pick up a copy of New Never News reporter, j.a. kazimer's fairy tale tell-all, CURSES! A F***ED UP FAIRY TALE today!

* Learn who murdered Cinderella and why
* Find out which fairy tale prince is more tale than fairy
* Hear secrets only a villain would know about your favorite fairy tale celebrities

Buy CURSES at amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, or wherever books are sold.

Hundreds Mourn After Princess' Death

Hundreds Mourn After Princess' Death
by j.a. kazimer


Hundreds of mourners arrived at Grimm's Cemetery for the funeral of famed princess, Cinderella, who was struck down by the Fairy-Second Street Bus on Saturday. Her fiance, Prince Charming, appeared inconsolable and had to be helped from the graveside by a gaggle of extremely well dressed and good-looking young men.

The only relative not in attendance was Asia, Cinderella's estranged and ugly stepsister.

STDs on the Rise

STDs on the Rise
by j.a. kazimer
Your Health, New Never News

The New Never City Health Department is concerned about the recent rise of STDs in the city. Officials report a rash of cases of facial warts among young, unmarried women. They believe the infections are a direct result of princess-on-frog contact.

Princesses looking for love are asked to practice safe sex.

If you are a princess or suspect that you've been exposed to a princess with frog breath, please seek immediate treatment at the local New Never City Health Clinic for a dose of Compound-W.

New Never City's Top Villain Contest

by j.a. kazimer

Are you evil to the core? Does your own mother cringe when you call? If so, the Villainous Union wants you. You will travel to far and a way kingdoms, seeing the world one evil deed at a time, while unhelping others.

Join the Villainous Union and be as evil as you can be!

*Do-gooders need not apply.

Call 1-800-PRINCE-CHARMING-ASKED-FOR-IT to apply.

Wedding Promises to be an Ugly Affair

Wedding of the Century Promises to be an Ugly Affair
by j.a. kazimer
Wedded Bliss, New Never News

The photographer for the upcoming nuptuals of Cinderella to Prince Charming has quit after taking the 'pre-wedding' family photograph, declaring, "Those ugly faces broke my camera."

The royal family had no comment, but did invest in a bundle of paper bags.

An Interview with ME!

Chiseled in Rock Star, Janet Fogg, interviews little ole me for the ROCK today. I promise that after reading this, you will wonder two things... But I refuse to tell you what they are!

Chiseled in Rock: Chiseled Author j.a. kazimer is Interviewed!: By Janet Fogg We’ve been asked, so today we’re offering answers to questions such as: Chiseled Staff? Are they really that chiseled? Are th...