Pied Piper Arrested

Peter the front-man for the band, The Pied Pipers, was arrested last night after neighbors complain of a loud series of noises coming from his residence. Peter Piper claimed he'd eaten a peck full of  peppers stolen from the Farmer in the Dell this afternoon and the noise was bathroom-related.

The New Never City police didn't buy his tale, so after a search of Peter's residence, police uncovered what appears to be a children's sweat-shop. 

Peter Piper will be arraigned on Tuesday.

Police were unable to locate any of the 'hot' peppers.

Joe White to Toss His Dwarf in the Ring

With the elections over, it is time for New Never City to focus on what's important, next year's election. Citizens will be voting on many things, from the legalization of fairy-dust to the next mayor.

New Never City DA, Joe White, hopes to be that guy. He faces stiff competition from current mayor, Morgana, as known as the wicked witch of the west, east, and most southern kingdoms. Joe White has long been known as the fairest of us all, which puts him at a distinct disadvantage in quest for mayorship.

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Reporter Reveals Shocking Truth

Cheaters do, in fact, win.

Shocking I know.

Want proof?

Take a look at General Petraeus. He won that Iraq War thingy after all.