Aladdin Caught Rubbing His Lamp

by j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat New Never News

Local entertainer, Aladdin of Aladdin's Playhouse was arrested last night during a police sting at a local 'movie' theater. Apparently, the star was a bit...handies with a certain...object during the movie, Your Carpet or Mine.

The lamp in question refused to press charges.

Pilot Feared Dead in Crash

By j.a. kazimer
Oops New Never News

A well-loved New Never City resident, pilot Aladdin is feared dead following the crash of his magic carpet in the hills overlooking the city. The Fairy Flight Administration suspects thread unravel was the cause of the crash, but won't be able to say for sure until a 40 day and 40 night investigation is completed.