Wicked Queen Promotes An Apple A Day Awareness

by j.a. kazimer
Health New Never News

An apple a day will keep the doctor away, says the Wicked Queen. She further demonstrated the fact by offering local girl, Snow White, a bite of a red delicious hand picked by the queen's semi-faithful woodsmen.

Snow White declared the apple, "Delicio...choke...cough...cough..." And fainted dead away with delight at her treat.

Happy VD Day

by j.a. kazimer
Health New Never News

BECAUSE WE CARE!

An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but your significant other might kill you. Remember on this holiest of holidays, fruit doesn't replace condoms when it comes to STD protection.

Happy Valentine's Day!

An Apply a Day Responsible For Childhood Obesity?

By j.a. kazimer
Health Beat New Never News


An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Bullshit!

The New Never News has uncovered the truth behind the lies perpetuated by the Apple Growers of New Never City. An apple a day won't keep a doctor away. We tried it. And unlike poison gas, it does not keep anyone, let alone, medical professionals away.