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Showing posts with label Glass Slipper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Glass Slipper. Show all posts

Prince Arrested


By j.a. kazimer
Happy Tax Day, New Never News

Local prince, Charming, was recently arrested at the New Never City Famous Slipperwear shop when a clerk complained the prince had sniffed a female customer's shoe. The prince denied the allegation, claiming, "I was merely admiring said slipper...with my nostrils."

Police gave him a $50 fine sent him to bed without his porridge.

Lottery Winner Celebrates in Style


There was an old lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she didn’t know what to do. Then she won the lottery, and everything changed.

“Are you kidding me? I can finally afford to put them through college. I mean, not all of them are going to college, of course, Rick and Michael are both apprenticing as plumbers already, and they seem to like it. Tina, Trixi and Roxanne will put anything I give them towards starting that restaurant. Sam, Jordan, Kayla and Mirriam are trying to get that band of theirs off the ground, while Lisa, Harry, George and Bobbi are almost done with trade school. Carrie and Michelle are both getting married, so I guess I can help with the wedding now. But for the rest of them? Oh, yeah, it’s going into college funds.”

And for herself?

“Well,” the little old lady blushed, “I have to admit, living in this boot has gotten a little old. I was looking at a nice, strapless stiletto on the other side of town.”

Dear Wicked Witch - Slipperless is the City



Dear Wicked Witch:

I lost my slipper at a ball the other night and the queen's idiot son picked it up. And he's been stuffing every womanly foot he sees into my slipper. He's no Prince Charming for sure, so what should I do?

~ Slipperless in New Never City

Dear Slipperless:

Find the idiot son, bash him on the head, and curse him to turn into a toad for theft of footwear. Then, coat your feet in eye-of-newt. It helps your skin adhere to glass slippers, so you will never lose your footwear again.

~ Wicked Witch


If you have a question for the Wicked Witch, email admin@juliekazimer.com.