Old Woman Arrested - Shoe Confiscated

By j.a. kazimer
New Never News Crime Beat

Hard times for all, but especially in the Kingdom of Maldetto where the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe was recently arrested in a child labor sting. She is accused of using child labor to weave knock off handbags in her shoe. Authorities quickly confiscated the shoe, leaving the Old Woman and her brood of kids with one option, move into section swamp housing.

When asked, the woman responded, "I just don't know what to do!"

Old Woman Arrested for Running a Brothel

by j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat, New Never News

An old woman from the Prada side of town was arrested last night during a raid by New Never City police. The arrest came after police discovered what appeared to be an illegal brothel being run out of the old woman's home. Police took numerous socks in for questioning.

Morning Fire Destroys Shoe

by j.a. kazimer
Fire Watch, New Never News

An early morning fire broke out in the New Never City area known as Prada. Firefighters suspect the fire started following a foot race between an old woman and her numerous children. No one was hurt in the fire, but the flames destroyed a pair of clogs.

Missed Connections

by j.a. kazimer
Romance New Never News


MISSED CONNECTIONS from Craigslist.OGRE

~ You, a beautiful blonde wearing a silver/white dress that smalled faintly of pumpkins and pine sol.

~ Me, a prince with a foot fetish.

Would love to find you and maybe marry, if the shoe fits.

Princebook me.

Old Women Arrested in Child Labor Sting. Shoe Confiscated.

By j.a. kazimer
New Never News Crime Beat

Hard times for all, but especially in the Kingdom of Tremaine, where the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe was recently arrested in a child labor sting. She is accused of using child labor to weave knock off handbags in her Shoe. Authorities quickly confiscated the Shoe, leaving the Old Woman and her brood of kids with one option, move into section swamp housing.

When asked, the woman responded, "I just don't know what to do!"