Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

by Shannon Lawrence

Dear Great and Powerful Wizard,

Girls cry when I kiss them. It’s so upsetting that I’ve become addicted to pie in order to self-medicate. Now, not only do I not have a girl, but my weight has ballooned. What can I do?

Georgie Porgie

Dear “Puddin’ N’ Pie” Georgie,

Invest in some mints and eat your vegetables.

The Wizard

Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D.

Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D.
by Shannon Lawrence

Dear Great and Powerful Wizard,

My wife and I have a problem. I find I’m unable to eat any fatty foods without becoming ill, while my wife needs fat to be able to digest her meals. We’ve seen multiple doctors who have all said no such ailments exist. Have you heard of anything like this? Is there anything we can do?

Jack Sprat

Dear “No Fat” Jack,

What’s the big deal? There are plenty of non-fat foods out there for you, and tons of fatty foods for your wife. Instead of obsessing over what you can’t eat, eat what you can and stop complaining.

The Wizard

Ask Wizard OZ, M.D.

Peter:
How can I prevent ingrown hares?

Wizard OZ, M.D:
Feed your bunny. Nobunny likes a skinny rabbit.


If you have a question, email Wizard OZ, M.D. at wizardoz.md@gmail.com.