In less than 30 days, FROGGY STYLE will be released. In honor of
that, I'm going to give away some cash (okay, a gift card of your
choosing), and lots of other semi-lame prizes like ebooks, book-books,
and a super special prize of being in my next book (not literally, even
if you beg I refuse to drain your blood and use it as ink, so quit
asking). But I will name a character after you (or anyone you want) as
well as use some personality traits/quirks/kinks. So all of your friends
can laugh and jeer you at odd times.
Anyway, to win this amazing prize or prizes, you simply need to sign over your soul. Like you're using it....
I'm running two contests. Please pass it along to your friends, relatives, and enemies. Here are the details for each:
a Frog Sweepstakes
Want to win a fabulous vacation to a tropical island? Or how
about a brand new car? If so, I suggest you enter the Publishers Clearing
House. If you want to win a semi-cool prize like a $100 gift card to Amazon (or
the gift card of your choice) or better yet, infamy when a character based on
you (or the person of your choice) appears in book three of the F***ed-Up Fairy
Tale series, enter the Kissing a Frog Sweepstakes in honor of the release of
the irreverent fairy tale novel FROGGY STYLE.
Are you adorable? Scratch that. Are you willing to embarrass
yourself for cash? Then the Kissing a Frog Contest is for you. Take your best
digital pic of you/your sister/your grandma/your next door neighbor/your parrot
kissing a frog (whether it is an actual frog or a stuffed one, or even your dog
in animal drag), and upload it to your facebook/twitter/instagram with the
hashtag: #FroggyStyle or send it to firstname.lastname@example.org
Photos will be displayed on author’s website/social media.
Prizes include a $50 gift card, books, ebooks, and toy
The Ghost of Christmas Present was arrested last night for incandescent exposure after Villain Union Leader, Miss Muffet, complained that while she was sweetly sitting on her tuffet, he came down and sat beside her, scaring her nearly to death.
A bowl of unturned curds was the only evidence left at the scene.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall has been declared incompetent by a jury of his peers. Charges against the mirror were brought by Snow White after the mirror declared the Wicked Witch, "The fairest of them all."
The jury, made up of dwarfs, quickly rendered a guilty verdict.
Peter the front-man for the band, The Pied Pipers, was arrested last night after neighbors complain of a loud series of noises coming from his residence. Peter Piper claimed he'd eaten a peck full of peppers stolen from the Farmer in the Dell this afternoon and the noise was bathroom-related.
The New Never City police didn't buy his tale, so after a search of Peter's residence, police uncovered what appears to be a children's sweat-shop.
Peter Piper will be arraigned on Tuesday.
Police were unable to locate any of the 'hot' peppers.
With the elections over, it is time for New Never City to focus on what's important, next year's election. Citizens will be voting on many things, from the legalization of fairy-dust to the next mayor.
New Never City DA, Joe White, hopes to be that guy. He faces stiff competition from current mayor, Morgana, as known as the wicked witch of the west, east, and most southern kingdoms. Joe White has long been known as the fairest of us all, which puts him at a distinct disadvantage in quest for mayorship.
kazimer will host the Boulder Writers’ Workshop Literary Salon on
Saturday, October 13.
The salon will open with a brief reading of work from the tell-all novel, CURSES!
and then j.a. kazimer will guide our discussion. Attendees are free to
ask questions, as well as throw out discussion topics to the group.
Make those questions easy. You don't want me to cry!
Literary Salon is fashioned after the great salons of Paris in the
Eighteenth Century, and is free and open to the public.
about their writing successes and challenges, solicit advice, share
their experiences and keep each other up-to-date on trends. Our topics
range widely–covering the art, psychology, spirituality, business and
craft of writing and publishing.
All genres and experience levels are
The salon runs from 10:30 a.m. to noon at the Villas at the
Atrium in Boulder.
A freakish four alarm fire broke out overnight at the headquarters of the villain's union in Greenwitch Village costing the lives of two henchmen. The fire burned the first two floors, causing over twenty thousand dollars in damage. VP of Union Affairs, Miss Muffet stated, 'I just sat on my tuffet, eating my curds and whey, when along came a fire...'
Police suspect the fire started when a non-union employee jumped over a candlestick.
Peter Pan, founding member of the band The Lost Boys, Neverland's top grossing boy-band in the late 90's, was found dead in a New Never City hotel room.
Peter's on-again, off -again and often violent relationship with the artist known only as Tink has been well documented. However, in the last year or so, Peter underwent a spiritual transformation at the hands of guru, Smee. At the time of his death, friends say Peter was happy and newly engaged to a darling young lady named Wendy.