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Lost Boy Found Dead

by j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat, New never News

Peter Pan, founding member of the band The Lost Boys, Neverland's top grossing boy-band in the late 90's, was found dead in a New Never City hotel room.

Peter's on-again, off -again and often violent relationship with the artist known only as Tink has been well documented. However, in the last year or so, Peter underwent a spiritual transformation at the hands of guru, Smee. At the time of his death, friends say Peter was happy and newly engaged to a darling young lady named Wendy.

Police do suspect fairy play.

Reporter Has Nervous Breakdown...Sort Of

From The Nervous Breakdown:

Imagine that Cinderella’s been murdered, distracted by a bluebird and run over by a truck in New Never City. Now imagine her stepsister calling on Rumpelstiltskin (stripped of his villainy as punishment for rage issues) to investigate. This is the premise of J.A. Kazimer’s Curses!: A F**cked Up Fairy Tale.

Cinderella’s stepsister Asia, believing her sister’s death to be a case of foul play, shows up at what she thinks is Sherlock Holmes’s door. Only, he hasn’t lived there for a while, not since RJ, as Rumpel prefers to be called, stuffed him into the chimney and took over the residence. Asia, much better-looking then the original story had led us to believe, convinces RJ to help, but really he’s just doing it in hopes that she’ll sleep with him.

As the two dig deeper into Cindi’s untimely death, everyone becomes suspect: Prince Charming; the butler; Dru, the second and not-so-pretty stepsister; even Asia.

Blending favorite fairy tale characters with today’s cultural references and sensibilities, Curses! flips the childhood staple on its head to create a wholly adult, and highly entertaining, reading experience.


Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

by Shannon Lawrence

Dear Great and Powerful Wizard,

Girls cry when I kiss them. It’s so upsetting that I’ve become addicted to pie in order to self-medicate. Now, not only do I not have a girl, but my weight has ballooned. What can I do?

Georgie Porgie

Dear “Puddin’ N’ Pie” Georgie,

Invest in some mints and eat your vegetables.

The Wizard

Book Signing in Boulder CO

Come see New Never News reporter, j.a. kazimer, as she signs her New Never City celebrity tell-all at Barnes & Noble in Boulder, CO.

Signing starts at 11am on March 10.

Barnes & Noble Booksellers
2195 Pearl Street
Boulder, CO
March 10, 2012 - 11am

F***ed Up Events for March

Reporter j.a. kazimer will be at the following events signing copies of her celebrity tell-all CURSES! A F***ED UP FAIRY TALE.

Booksigning with Cindi Myers & j.a. kazimer

March 3, 2012 - 3pm

Broadway Book Mall
200 S. Broadway
Denver 303-744-BOOK (2665)

Booksigning - MARCH 10, 2012

March 10 - 11AM
Barnes & Noble Bookstore
2915 Pearl St
Boulder, CO (303) 442-1665

Booksigning - MARCH 17, 2012

March 17 - 11AM
Barnes & Noble Bookstore

701 E. 120th Avenue
Thornton, CO 80233

Booksigning - March 25, 2012

March 25 - 11AM

Barnes & Noble Bookstore

960 S Colorado Blvd
Glendale, CO 80246

Left Coast Crime Conference - March 29 - April 1, 2012

FORENSICS - Forensics and Mysteries Go Hand in Hand
DP Lyle, MD, Jan Burke, Steve Scarborough, JA Kazimer, George Fong
SATURDAY March 31, 2012 - 1:30 PM

CURSES! Book Signing at Broadway Book Mall

Join me for a CURSES! Book Signing at the Broadway Book Mall!

When: March 3, 2012 - 3PM
Where: Broadway Book Mall, 200 S. Broadway, Denver CO

Free swag and CURSES Cookies for all.

And the best part, the fabulous Cindi Myers will also be signing her newest release, The Woman Who Loved Jesse James.