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Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D

by Shannon Lawrence

Dear Great and Powerful Wizard,

Girls cry when I kiss them. It’s so upsetting that I’ve become addicted to pie in order to self-medicate. Now, not only do I not have a girl, but my weight has ballooned. What can I do?

Georgie Porgie

Dear “Puddin’ N’ Pie” Georgie,

Invest in some mints and eat your vegetables.

The Wizard