Ask the Wizard, O.Z. M.D
by Shannon Lawrence
Dear Great and Powerful Wizard,
Girls cry when I kiss them. It’s so upsetting that I’ve become addicted to pie in order to self-medicate. Now, not only do I not have a girl, but my weight has ballooned. What can I do?
Dear “Puddin’ N’ Pie” Georgie,
Invest in some mints and eat your vegetables.