By j.a. kazimer
Entertainment, New Never News
After years of living life on the bathroom vanity, Mirror, Mirror On the Wall is once again headed back for treatment. The famed fixture claims his addiction stems from lifelong fear of disappointing the women in his life. "Do you know how hard it is to lie to women every day for years? Who's the fairest of them all? Not you, sugar. Your butts the size of Prince Charming's ego and your face resembles the ugly stepsister's baby picture."
Showing posts with label Drug Addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drug Addiction. Show all posts
Tuffet Use On the Rise
By j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat New Never News
New Never Police are concerned with the recent rise in the abuse of tuffets by local teens. "Curds and whey was bad enough, and now this?" declared one parent of a teen hospitalized after a tuffet incident. "It's that damn Justin Bieber. Kids see him sitting on a tuffet and think it's the thing to do."
Police are asking teens to stop licking random tuffets. "It just isn't worth it," Officer Muffet declared.
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