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Tuffet Use On the Rise

By j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat New Never News

New Never Police are concerned with the recent rise in the abuse of tuffets by local teens. "Curds and whey was bad enough, and now this?" declared one parent of a teen hospitalized after a tuffet incident. "It's that damn Justin Bieber. Kids see him sitting on a tuffet and think it's the thing to do."

Police are asking teens to stop licking random tuffets. "It just isn't worth it," Officer Muffet declared.