STDs on the Rise

STDs on the Rise
by j.a. kazimer
Your Health, New Never News

The New Never City Health Department is concerned about the recent rise of STDs in the city. Officials report a rash of cases of facial warts among young, unmarried women. They believe the infections are a direct result of princess-on-frog contact.

Princesses looking for love are asked to practice safe sex.

If you are a princess or suspect that you've been exposed to a princess with frog breath, please seek immediate treatment at the local New Never City Health Clinic for a dose of Compound-W.

The Great Healthcare Debate

By j.a. kazimer
Health New Never News


Roger sat on a wall. Roger had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Roger back together again.

Poor Roger never had a chance. When did New Never City start allowing horses to administer medical care ? Their hoofs are just too damn big! An autopsy is scheduled for this afternoon, but there is no doubt in this reporter's mind that Roger died as a result of the hoof lodged in his chest.