by Shannon Lawrence
Crime Beat, New Never News
The Golden Goose, a priceless artifact, has been stolen from the Crown Jewelry Store. The robbery occurred last night sometime between midnight and three A.M. There was no damage, and nothing else was taken. Police are baffled as to how the perpetrator gained entrance to the store.
A feathered cap and what appears to be some manner of hairball were found by the glass case, but there was no other evidence left behind. If you have any information about this robbery, please contact the New Never City police tip line at 1-800-WHO-DNIT.