by Alicia Howie
Crime Beat
Old Mother Hubbard of New Never City’s Bare Cupboard District has been
committed to psychiatric treatment after complaints of her roaming the
streets mumbling and aloof.
“The poor dog, the poor dog, all she ever talks about is what she
needs to fetch for that poor dog,” one passerby commented.
In fact, Old Mother Hubbard frequents the District’s businesses many
times a day for her poor dog, even appearing delusional. Many business
owners have voiced concern for her in the past, citing her stories of
the poor dog smoking, dancing, goat riding, cat feeding, and even
dressing in clothes.
“Old Mother Hubbard is a little mixed up right now,” the doctor in
charge of the dame’s psych unit reported. “Once we get her to
understand the correct concept of “fetch”, she will be free to go.
That is, of course, the dog is to do the fetching.”
Meanwhile, the poor dog has been left to tend for himself.
