Dear Wicked Witch ~ Thanksgiving Tradition

Dear Wicked Witch:

What are some of your favorite Thanksgiving Day traditions? I prefer a nice green salad.

~ Thomas T. Turkey

Dear Dinner:

I like to celebrate this fine day with a nice ride on my broomstick followed by a typical Thanksgiving feast, and to top it off a nice, eye of newt pie. You're welcome to join me. Head over about seven a.m. Make sure to shower. In butter.

~ The Hungry & Wicked Witch

The Princess Who Really, Really Has to Pee Asks the Wicked Witch

Dear Wicked Witch:

My prince is pressuring me to take a cell phone camera with me into the little princess' room and take a picture while I pee. He says it has always been a "fairytale" of his, and that if I really love him I'll do it.

~ The Princess Who Really, Really Has to Pee

Dear Princess Pee:

Just man up and go already. What's the worst that can happen? Overnight, international internet exposure? Think of it as a career move. Look what it did for the Tidy Bowl Man.

~ The Wicked Witch


If you have a question for the Wicked Witch, email admin@juliekazimer.com.

Dear Wicked Witch - Slipperless is the City

Dear Wicked Witch:

I lost my slipper at a ball the other night and the queen's idiot son picked it up. And he's been stuffing every womanly foot he sees into my slipper. He's no Prince Charming for sure, so what should I do?

~ Slipperless in New Never City

Dear Slipperless:

Find the idiot son, bash him on the head, and curse him to turn into a toad for theft of footwear. Then, coat your feet in eye-of-newt. It helps your skin adhere to glass slippers, so you will never lose your footwear again.

~ Wicked Witch


If you have a question for the Wicked Witch, email admin@juliekazimer.com.