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Princess Found Dead, Police Baffled

By Ross D. Willard
Crime Beat New Never News

“The body was discovered at seven o’clock this morning, by one of the maids. We’ve interviewed her thoroughly and dismissed her as a suspect in the case.” This was the only statement the police were willing to give in the still open case of Princess Fallfar, whose recent demise has shocked the city. Or, at least the castle. The people in the castle that met her, anyways.

According to inside sources, Princess Fallfar arrived in the city late last night and, being a princess, drove directly to the castle looking for a place to stay.

“Normally, when princesses show up in the middle of the night, we set them up with a room, and arrange for one of the princes to wake her up with a kiss in the morning. They get married the next day, have a nice happily ever after weekend, and the whole thing gets annulled the next week.” Explained a source who wished to remain anonymous. “But this time, there was a problem.”

The princess appeared to be traveling without her papers.

“It’s not unheard of.” Our expert has informed us. “But it is bad form. I mean, the last thing a prince wants to do is have a nice happily ever after weekend and then find out he’s just married a weekend. Things tend to get dicey. Lawyers get involved, people have to be paid off. A prince who isn’t looking for a scandal, well, he just has to be sure.”

Uncertain the status of their guest, the servants were instructed to make special arrangements for their guest.

“I don’t know what it was all about.” One young squire confided. “I just do what I’m told. When I’m told to get a hundred mattresses and stack them to the sky, that’s just what I do.”

Where exactly the instructions originated, nobody is certain, and why the princess (it has been confirmed that Fallfar was indeed a princess) couldn’t get comfortable that night, nobody knows. What is known is that tossing and turning on top of a pile of one hundred mattresses isn’t the safest activity in the world.

The police have not labeled the death foul play, but they do admit that they found something at the bottom of the mattresses that may be a vital clue in their investigation.