By Ross D. Willard
Crime Beat New Never News
The New Never Police Department has issued a statement in the recent hit-and-run attack on an as-of-yet unidentified homeless man.
The incident occurred two nights ago up at makeout ridge, a popular hangout for highschool couples. According to police, the homeless man in question, who appears to have been suffering from a stroke and was seeking help, tried to get the attention of some youths. As he was unable to speak, he appears to have dragged his hook along the side of their car in order to gain their attention.
Police say that the teens in question not only failed to render aid to the ailing man, who is, most likely, a disabled veteran, but drove off after the man’s hook became trapped in the car handle, ripping the hook off of his arm and causing needless injury to the man.
Paint chips at the crime scene indicate that the car in question was light blue. Police are offering a reward for any information that results in the capture of these two malicious offenders.
