Mayor Mike ‘Mini-Mint’ Michaelson Mocks Murmurs of Mob Mischief
By Ross D. Willard
MMMMMMMMM Beat New Never News
Even with the election days away, and with mounting evidence connecting him to the Lollipop Guild, a known mob front, Mayor Mike Michaelson isn’t showing any signs of stress. Today, at the annual ‘Falling House Commemoration Picnic,’ the longtime politician gave his traditional reading of the beloved ‘Meeting Ms. Dorothy’ for local children. Laughing off questions from the media, he spent most of the day shaking hands and kissing babies and looking, for all the world, like a man without a care.
As popular as Mayor Michaelson may be, though, he has had a long and sordid political history, from reputed dealings with all varieties of wicked witches, to the gumdrop scandal, there have always been more questions than answers regarding the Munchkin Mayor. Most notably, of course, there was the incident of the disappearance of labor leader James Hofta during the building of the Yellow Brick Road, and Mayor Michaelson’s refusal to allow any portion of that road to be removed, or dug under, as recommended by investigators.
While it’s hard to speak ill of a politician who has dedicated so much of his time to building parks and public works, I would like to remind the residents of Munchkin Land, along with all readers everywhere, that elections are not popularity contests, and a winning smile should not be enough to put a criminal in office.