Tortoise Suspected of Doping
By j.a. kazimer
Sports New Never News
Famed racer, Lance Tortoise is charged with using synthetic enhancers in the Tour de Tremaine, a six mile race around the Tremaine Palace. The forty year old Tortoise has won four Tours so far. The accusation of doping came from the Hare after the final leg of the race, in which, Tortoise surprised everyone by beating the favorite Hare by a paw.
Tortoise had this to say, 'Doping? That's crazy. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand time, Slow and Steroids wins the race.' He added, 'Oh, Steroids aren't natural? Who knew?'